Life | 6 Month Stroke Update

 

Today marks six months since my stroke. I last updated you just after the three month hurdle and a lot has changed since then - I said that last time but I think there is a lot more this time. The previous update post in November seemed to be really popular, and I know there are a lot of people wondering where life is at now...so let me tell you....

I'm really honest in these types of posts and they may not be the most upbeat but they are true, and a real reflection of life right now. I hope you enjoy it - I promise not to be too doom and gloom!

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THE DIAGNOSIS

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At the end of October I went to the hospital to see a Blood Specialist. I said in the previous Update that I was undergoing more tests and awaiting the results of those. I have since had those tests done. And I've had the results. And I have a diagnosis. I have a condition called Antiphospholipid Syndrome (a mouthful I know!). You've probably never heard of it and neither had I. In short it's a condition that affects the way my blood clots. Everyone's blood needs to clot to an extent so that they don't bleed to death everytime they get a paper cut - but mine just does it way to much! It's something I've inherited and not something I have caused but as yet there is no cure so I'll just need to live with it. Is that a daunting thought? A little bit. It's more frightening to know I have to remember to take my medication everyday or there may be really serious consequences.

On the subject of medication, the first time I saw my specialist he was certain my medication would be changed to Warfarin and I would be going for regular blood tests until they got the dosage correct. When I went the second time, I saw a different doctor and he said there was no need for me to go on Warfarin - the complete opposite of what the first guy said. My mum and me were left pretty confused and I couldn't settle not knowing all the facts. So I booked in with my local GP to get some clarification.  He's going to chase up the confusing doctors, and get a new specialist involved, who is a specialist in blood clotting that he knows, and hopefully that'll help out.

I'll keep you posted.

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THE ANXIETY MONSTER

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I've never been the type of person who gets really nervous or worried about little things - or at least I didn't think I was. During my A-Levels (pre-stroke) I had a couple of little panic attacks but nothing I was too worried about because it was a really busy and anxious time for me. But post stroke I've suffered a lot more with anxiety. It rears its ugly head at the most inappropriate times! When I came out of hospital me and spontaneous were not good friends. I struggled with plans changing last minute and when things happened unexpectedly I would get really worked up - I still do to a degree. But in the beginning, I was at home and kind of was able to keep it under control as there were people around me that could help take control of the situation. But when I went back to work I was on my own to deal with changing circumstances, something the pre stroke Hannah would be fine with, but the post stroke Hannah struggled to adapt to. It was then my anxiety began to take hold.
 

I began to realise that when small mistakes were made, things went wrong, or plans changed suddenly I would get very worked up. I could feel my chest getting tight and things would be on my mind for a long time (I'm talking days or a couple of weeks!). In one example, I made a mistake with a receipt, and it was a really small thing, and pre-stroke Hannah would have just shrugged it off, apologised, and moved on, but I couldn't concentrate on anything, it was literally the only thing on my mind. I couldn't sleep, and felt on edge all the time. I replayed the event over and over in my head...the fact I could see it all the time just made me feel really rubbish.

 I have regular appointments with my psychologist anyway, and when I told her about it, she referred me to one of her colleagues to help to control my anxiety. She has taught me a lot! I've different techniques that help me in the moment things go wrong, and when things are playing on my mind at a later date. It's taking a lot of practice to get right, and when some approaches don't work I try different things but I'm hopeful that things are only going to get better.

 

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THE FATIGUE

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I've said this before and I will say it again - tiredness is one of the biggest problems I face on a day to day basis. Over the past few months there has been a turning point in the way I adapt to things when I'm tired. I know what will tire me out now and I am more appreciative of the fact I will get tired so plan for this. I am beginning to wonder at what point this will reduce? I mean, it has reduced since the very early days, but it's still there.

People say 'I understand' a lot when they don't. They haven't been in the position I'm in. However, I do feel like with the tiredness issues people can relate to it - not the cause of it, but everyone gets tired, right? Surely then they understand that if you're feeling tired, it will take you longer to do something, or you might need to have a bit of a rest. Even though they might not feel tiredness for the same reason, everyone gets tired at some point!

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THE HAND

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I  started going to a hand therapy session once a week October. It was recommended to me by my OT just before she stopped visiting me at home, and it uses a computer with different activities and a piece of metal (it's very high tech but I'm painting a terrible picture!) to measure the power you place on the metal. In short it helps improve a stroke survivors strength and grip. It was going well until the beginning of December. Both my strength and grip had improved! But combine the hard work I was putting in at these sessions, with the work I was putting in at work, and the effort I was putting in at home to improve things, it ended up being that I was doing to much. And I gave myself tendonitis. My tendons running down my thumb to my wrist became inflamed and pretty painful so they gave a wrist/thumb splint thing and I've been wearing it since beginning of December. I'd hoped it would come off at the beginning of January but my tendons hadn't improved so they've kept it on and if at my next appointment I might need to go to my GP for injections.
 

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THE DRIVING
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In my three month update, I said I'd got back driving, and I was hopeful I'd get my confidence back pretty quickly. Well, it's taking me longer than I thought. I just kept putting off driving places, and didn't enjoy it like I did before. But since the new year started, I've started to enjoy it again. I'm enjoying doing my share of the driving, considering it was my friends who always had to drive before. I haven't driven as much as I'd like, it's just nerves, but I can see a light at the end of the tunnel with this one.
 
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THE APPOINTMENTS

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When I first had my stroke, I was at the hospital most days for appointments with various therapists, and the days I wasn't there, they were probably visiting me at home. However now, I have been put on reviews for all my therapists. This basically means I have phone calls, or appointments with them every few weeks or couple of months - this is great at it saves a lot of trips to the hospital!

I go back to the Stroke Clinic  for an appointment there in a couple of weeks where I'm guessing I'll discuss my diagnosis and my progress!  Hopefully they'll not be wanting to see me for a while and I won't have to go back till the end of spring or maybe summer.

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THE STROKE ASSOCIATION

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I still go to my craft group once a week with the stroke association in my area. I can't thank them enough for how much they have done for me over the past new months. They have helped my confidence grow no end and everyone who goes, the workers, volunteers and fellow stroke survivors, are all fantastic people. I love the time I spend there.

 

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THE STRESSFUL MY 100 THINGS LIST

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I say stressful because my mission to complete this list has become one of the most stressful things I have ever done. Enjoyable, but stressful. I'm working my way through them steadily, and I'm adding things to the list at an equally steady rate - maybe more slow than steady. But then again, slow and steady always win the race! I've got over 60 items on my list now and have completed quite a few and I have a lot lined up to complete over the coming weeks. I'm determined to do this by the time I start Uni in September.

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THE BLOG

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It may seem like this is something completely random to talk about in a post designed to be all about Stroke. But I started this blog as a place to put my thoughts and talk about my life - a little corner of the internet to escape to after my stroke. I didn't want it to be all about stroke, because I didn't want my life to be all about stroke. It's because of the stroke headlinedbyhannah exists. In the past few months since I started this blog, I think it's about four months, my little corner has become a place that a lot of people seem to be visiting quite a lot. I did a post on this earlier in the week, it's here if you'd like to check it out, but on my list of 100 things, I wanted to get to 1000 views on my blog. And I've gone past that by quite a lot. That target has been reached more than twice over and I'm so grateful to every single person who reads my ramblings. Thank you!

I think I'm done. If you are still with me, thanks, as this was a very long post, but I hope it's been interesting. Sorry it's basically been a big block of writing too...