Friday marked the final exam day and since I left the exam hall at 4:30pm I feel like I've got a large Life Sciences exam shaped hole in my life! I'm not saying I miss it but I'm just not quite sure what to do with myself. Now, I wouldn't say that I've had a massive weight lifted off my shoulders - because truth being told the exam did not go well...
I really struggled. For some reason as soon as I was doubting a couple of the questions it made me doubt everything - my nerves completely took over and I even had a little cry in the exam room. I cried in the exam how terrible is that haha! But there's nothing I can do now. Annoyingly the resit isn't until August so I'll have a resit hanging over me for a while unfortunately. But, you know, miracles can happen and I could have passed! Fingers crossed for me guys!
Anyway, I other news so much has been going on recently. I last posted about my car parking crisis and parking in the hospital is getting no easier! Its always so busy unless I'm on an early shift (which starts at 7am!) I always worry about parking. I worry about the driving there and back as well. Inner city driving is not a fun experience!
Placement is going well however it is very, very tiring. The long days, shifts, nights, driving, no routine, no regular meals. It's all a stress and something I'm still trying to get used to. It's just weird you know, I have no body clock. Shift work tells your body to do everything your body is telling your body not to.
Hopefully now my exam is out the way I'll have chance to have a bit more of a life. It's been so full on these past few weeks I've been wondering whether this is right for me. I'm not embarrassed to tell you, I tell whoever is out there reading this blog a lot of different things, so I have no problem in saying that I'm struggling. Well, I don't know if struggling is the right word but I feel like I have more down days than I do up. I would say I'm like a swan, all came on the surface but paddling like mad underneath, however from some of the frantic phone calls I've had with my Mum and Dad I think they'd say otherwise. I'm gonna keep going - there is no plan B, so unless I win the lottery, I need to figure out a plan B before I were to leave plan A. I might do another blog post on the trials and tribulations of studying midwifery at some point?
Anyway, I'm currently typing this in my pyjamas, with a hot chocolate, watching 'Man Up' (actually quite a good film I'd recommend it!) so I'm going to love you and leave you. But I'll be back soon - I have some time on my hands now.